“We don’t have a magic wand,” bellowed Vitor Constancio, with a theatrical twirl of his cape. “Otherwise all countries would be rich, because monetary policy would cure everything,” continued the ECB’s Portuguese Vice President, vanishing in a puff of smoke. And denied QE’s intoxicating illusion, the crowd of spoiled, drunken traders erupted. Throwing beer bottles, tipping tables. The nervous emcee grabbed a micropho

“City Hall looks odd, no?” grunted the Russian commando to some other thug. You see, he and his closest comrades, poorly disguised as freedom-fighting locals, stormed the Kharkiv opera house, mistaking it for City Hall. They’re not the only ones confused. “New Russia – Kharkiv, Lugansk, Donetsk, Odessa – were not part of Ukraine in czarist times, they were transferred in 1920. Why? God knows,” exclaimed P

“Shhh…Be vewy, vewy quiet…I’m hunting wabbits,” whispered Elmer Fudd, as Bugs strode up behind the hapless hunter, munching a carrot, “What’s up Doc?” I’ve often felt like Fudd. Then there’s Wile E. Coyote. Building elaborate ACME traps. Heavens knows how often my best-laid plans rewarded me with horrid gunpowder burns. Left me wide-eyed, hair standing on end, smoldering, staggering. Naturally it’s not always disaste

Hope all goes well… “The US is self going now,” he said, scanning the globe, from the soaring heights of a Scandinavian monetary mountain. “They’ll raise rates farther and faster than markets price.” To prevent bubbles. “They’re really behind the curve now, historically speaking.” They’re printing $55bln/mth. Real overnight rates remain -1.5%. US gov’t bond real yields are negative out to 4yrs. “The Fed has changed,

Hope all goes well… “I’ll probably regret saying this because it can always get worse,” started the macro CIO, one of the very few who’s made money this year. “I’m fully expecting to walk in Monday and wish I hadn’t done it,” he continued. “Truth is there’s only one reason I did,” he admitted. “I did it because I couldn’t possibly feel worse about this position.” You see, he watched Japan’s biggest 1wk stock plunge s

“What is Dollar/Yen?” asked the renowned macro investor, using that exchange rate as a metaphor for the abstract instruments he trades. “It is nothing, that’s what it is,” he said, answering his own question, smiling, aware of the irony that by trading ‘nothing’ he built a fortune. Unlike a company, Dollar/Yen neither produces a product, nor a pays a dividend. You can create it from thin air. There’s no practical lim

“It’s so much nonsense that I can’t believe anybody really believes it,” announced Cheniere Energy’s CEO. And of course, he’s right. Everything’s nonsense. In Cheniere’s case, the CEO responded to claims that US natural gas will loosen Putin’s tightening grip on Europe. Cheniere’s Louisiana LNG terminal will export its first cargo in late 2015. It’ll ship 2.2bln cubic feet/day (Europe consumes 40-50bln). Anyhow, havi

“The Fed created a wall of money,” said the revolutionary, an intellectual, who as a young man, battled political suppression, oppression. Rose against Apartheid. Bravely. Non-violently. “As that money flowed to emerging markets, many cried foul, and now that it is leaving, they are crying again,” continued the central banker, his voice calm, confident, his eyes dry. “We are genuinely concerned about the effect of ca

Hope all goes well… “I discover my obsessions when I step back from screens,” admitted one of London’s top CIOs, fresh from some time off. “Used to be the Aussie dollar; that obsession consumed me back in 2012,” he continued, confessing his fatal attractions, bringing a fresh pot of water to a vigorous boil. “Only reason to take on this next one is that there’s no real reason to take it on,” he said, excited by his o

“I didn’t really think Tesla would be successful,” confessed Elon Musk on 60 Minutes, “but if something’s important enough, you should try, even if the probable outcome is failure.” Like most great entrepreneurs, Elon’s better at defying odds than handicapping them; Tesla now worth $26bln. His company SpaceX is still private, worth $6bln, perhaps much more. Traders are handicappers, and recalling Eike Batista’s infam